Spacecog

Stuttgart v Chelsea
Porto v Manchester United
Real Sociedad v Lyon
Celta Vigo v Arsenal
Bayern Munich v Real Madrid
Sparta Prague v Milan
Deportivo la Coruna v Juventus
Lokomotiv Moscow v Monaco

Porto are quite good so that's ok.

Hopefully the custom of referring to football teams in the plural will survive the conspiracy to use "is". "Porto is quite good" - removes the sense of a team being a group of many people.

Save us from the "soccer" conspiracy too. We play football, with our feet.